The Gay Refusal
It’s Time to Give the Homophobes What They Asked for
Another day, another business denying service to the LGBTIQ community, with many a homophobe making it clear they’d like their world’s to be gay free. I have, therefore, come up with an idea about how to grant that wish for them once and for all.
Whether a bed & breakfast banning same-sex couples, a bakery or florist refusing cake and flowers for gay weddings, or a school that doesn’t allow LGBTIQ staff, it’s high time we relieve them of their misery.
No doubt most of these bigots listen to music, wear clothes, buy make-up, dine out, attend the theatre and watch TV like the rest of the population.
As such, there’s a high likelihood they’re being ‘served’ by the queer community in almost every aspect of their lives from the designer of their clothes to the waiter who served their last meal.
It stands to reason, in that case, that LGBTIQ folk similarly refuse service to them.
So, homophobes …
Got an iPhone, iPad or any Apple product for that matter? I hate to tell you but Apple’s CEO, Tim Cook, is openly gay, so how about we ask him to stop selling Apple products to anyone in the anti-gay camp from now on? I guess you’d best start powering down.
A fan of Netflix shows like Santa Clarita Diet or Sex Education, are you? Or maybe you were into True Blood or The X-Files, back in the day. All their leading ladies; Drew Barrymore, Gillian Anderson and Anna Paquin, identify as bisexual, so you can forget about tuning in to their programs in future.
Or perhaps you were among the millions who flocked to see films like V For Vendetta and The Matrix. They were written and directed by trans siblings Lilly and Lana Wachowski (formerly The Wachowski brothers), so any future offerings from this talented duo can be omitted from your entertainment list.
Likewise, if you’re a fan of American Horror Story, it’s created by a very prolific gay bloke, Ryan Murphy, so you can scratch that off, also.
Then there’s that Lion King DVD your kids can’t stop watching. You do know who was behind its soundtrack, right? You guessed it, none other than Sir Elton John. So, if you’d like to snatch it from your teary-eyed kids and return it to receive your copy without sound, that can be arranged.
Incidentally, he was also behind the music for The Road to Eldorado, Aida and Billy Elliot the musical. Shall we pass your kids the tissues now or later?
Lover of smelling good or wearing decent underwear? I’m afraid you might have to settle for body odour and going commando because it’s highly likely a gay powerhouse was behind those luxuries. Gaultier, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana and Tom Ford are all gay, as was Dior, Versace and Alexander McQueen. Additionally, Raf Simons, the creative director of Calvin Klein, is a card carrying homosexual.
How about that Red Hot Chili Peppers album you often play? Or Janis Joplin? Amy Winehouse? Sia? R.E.M.? Bowie? Robbie Williams? Pink? Billie Holiday? Little Richard? Queen? Dusty Springfield? I’m afraid it’s time to surrender any of the above from your collection, as they all belong to either the gay or bisexual community.
Feeling de-gayed yet? Never fear, this is just the tip of the iceberg, and were a more thorough examination to take place, it would most often reveal that gay creatives and masterminds are linked in multiple ways to nearly every successful brand, organisation, design, eatery, show and music you could dare to mention.
So clearing these from your life in order to afford you the so-called gay free existence you seem to crave would leave you with a terribly boring and colourless world indeed. One not only lacking all things gay, but also largely devoid of style, sophistication and entertainment.
Hope you enjoy it.
Originally published at https://www.rosslarkin.net.
