Is It An OK Day?

Apparently we need prompting to remember to care.

Is It An OK Day?

Whenever RU OK day rolls around each September, I find myself conflicted.

On the one hand, it’s a vitally important reminder, in this increasing suicide epidemic, to look out for our loved ones. Yet, on the other, it tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth, and for the longest time I didn’t understand why. Last night, however, I figured it out.

Firstly, the very idea that we, as a nation, might require prompting to remove our heads from our own backsides, devices or obliviousness, in order to notice when someone close to us is struggling, or to simply check in regularly, is, frankly, rather sad.

The implication that it’s beyond the normal realms of caring for the people in our lives, or that we are so self-involved we’ve forgotten how, is sadder. It prompts the disturbing suggestion that perhaps the suicidal are, at times, pushed over the edge because, day to day, they don’t feel this basic level of regard from their peer community.

So, once a year, are these usually inattentive types suddenly transformed or perhaps prodded into action? Amid the slew of generic social media posts professing to being available for those in need, it seems that very few people are actually being directly asked.

According to a sizable group of mentally unwell friends in my own various circles, no enquiries were made as to their welfare on RU Ok day last year, some of whom have had previous suicide attempts and their social circles are very much privy to that information. So, if loved ones aren’t checking in when the nation reminds them to, when are they?

The irony of this whole concept is that many of those feeling vulnerable actually felt worse on RU Ok day when they were triggered by not being asked and have thus concluded they surely must be quite alone.

Furthermore, what happens when the few aware enough to ask the question are not prepared when they receive an answer other than ‘yes’? There’s every chance they might be at a complete loss as to how to manage the situation, inadvertently creating more triggers for someone in a highly fragile state.

On the flip side of course, they could save a life if skilled or sensitive enough to respond by dealing appropriately with the situation, and that’s obviously justification enough for continuing to bring any and as much awareness to the mental health crisis in this country.

That being said, I still can’t help but lament that many of us are so self-absorbed we need an annual reminder to try to notice and protect those we love, and even then it seldom seems to motivate.

Originally published at https://www.rosslarkin.net.